Leila had another big seizure this morning. We are in between meds at the moment because the first meds made her so weepy and sad. She would start crying out of no where and just knew that all the problems of the world were all her fault...Just don't think that a 6 year old on zoloft to balance out the other meds is going to happen.
Honestly, the whole thing just makes me mad. I have heard people say that this isn't that big of a deal, because the seizures are small and don't leave lesions on her brain...well, it is not your kid either! She is afraid to go to sleep at night, because she might have a seizure! I am a grown up, I could handle something like this better if it was me, but this is a lot for a little girl to deal with.
That being said, I am very much a believer that God doesn't give us more than we can handle without HIM, and that these things make us stronger and help us to learn to depend on God more. I have told Leila this many times, just said it again this morning. At her age, it is hard to comprehend that God can use this as a positive to help others as she grows, and just honestly I am having a hard time looking past the here and now to the great plan that I KNOW God has for my child.
For those of you who do spend time in prayer, please pray for Leila. That we will be able to find the meds that will allow her to have a balanced, healthy, full life. That the doctor's will see her as a person, not "another patient". That we as parents will be strong enough to always point her to God, and that she won't grow up doubting God's love and great plan for her life. And anything else that God lays on your hearts in regards to this situation.
